Solo dates have become one of my favorite things to do. The reason I like them so much is because you can do them at home or take yourself out on a date. It is nice to get out of the house since I work from home, but sometimes I just want to chill on my porch. Solo Dates can be one night or weekend trips. I love solo traveling because it has been my way to ground myself. I never thought I would like camping, but I am also not shocked since I have always wanted to live in a RV.
I get a lot of feedback from people when they find out I do a lot of solo traveling and solo dates. Some people think it’s weird, but it doesn’t matter to me because if I didn’t do this I would have nervous breakdown. I need time and space to be me to relax. Letting my guard down is very hard which is not good because most of the time I thinking how situations can play out, how I am being perceived in a situation, not letting people down which I hate doing.
On a daily basis, I am a little ball of nerves. I’m working on not being that way, but it takes time. In the mean time, I solo camp, solo travel, and solo date. I am a big advocate of trying and doing things on your own. It’s during this time for me, I have learned that I am stronger than I think am, stronger than people thought I was, and I really am ok. Doing one thing at least once in your life completely by yourself should be done without a doubt. it doesn’t have be far or extravagant (unless you want it to be), but pushing yourself outside your comfort zone is key.
Trust me. It’s not easy, and it does take time. When I first started, I would go to places near by that I felt comfortable. From there, I slowly expanded out to things and places a little more unfamiliar. Every so often I would push myself more and more.
Here are some things I have noticed when I do solo dates:
- boosts how I love myself. I struggle with self love, and solo dates remind me how to love myself.
- less dependent on others.
- more confident by myself
- more comfortable making decisions. Sometimes I struggle with making decisions or vocalizing decisions. By doing solo dates, I get more comfortable and confident with making decisions.
- learn new things
- going with the flow is not the end of the world.
If you get anxious or self conscious, here’s some tips:
- bring headphones:
- bring a book. I would recommend a fiction book but honestly a book is a book. it can on your phone or physical.
- bring a notebook. I do this when I am solo traveling because I’m writing down all the places I have, the things that I have seen, etc. it’s a nice icebreaker because people will ask me if I’m writing a book. I tell them just writing all the things I have done today so I can remember them. Then it gets the ball rolling on them telling me things that I should see or do in that area or nearby.
- go to a place you already go: mine is either BWW or Chilis. Especially Chili’s on the weekend because I know the bartender.
- sit at the bar: just because you are at the bar doesn’t mean you have to drink. I have talked to several people at the bar who sit there because it’s just them.
- go to a park: if you don’t want to go out
How to plan a solo date: (could work for a solo trip too)
- Plan
- pick a day, time and put it in your planner. Don’t cancel on yourself.
- it doesn’t have to cost money. You can stay home and focus on yourself. You can go to a park & have a picnic.
- do something for you: this can be a spend time doing a hobby you enjoy, a place you have wanted to go to, or something you wanted to try.
- dress up. dress down. it doesn’t matter.
Solo Date Ideas
here’s a list of solo date to get you started.
Self Care
- practice meditation or mindfulness
- take an everything shower
- pamper yourself with a bubble bath
- listen to your favorite songs & have a dance party. I have saved folder in Spotify for different emotions. I have an ugly girl cry soundtrack, dance party, boy hating music.
- try a new beauty product
- watch the sunset (or sunrise) (or both)
- have a digital detox day (or weekend)
- spa night at home
- treat yourself to your favorite food (can eat it there, at home, at a park)
Outdoors
- picnic at the park
- go hiking
- visit the zoo
- take a scenic drive
- early morning farmers market
- explore a botanical garden
- download atlas obscura and find things in your area
- check out a new neighborhood
Personal Growth/ Development
- reset weekend (can be either away from the house or at the house)
- read a self growth book
- do something outside your comfort zone
- work on your vision board
- journal/ brain dump: get everything out of your head and body. write it out without stopping.
- start a side hustle
- update your resume or portfolio
- do something you have been putting off
- work on your goals and dreams
- create a gratitude journal
Home
- read a book
- paint
- Netflix (either a familiar show or a new to you)
- redecorate/ reorganize/ declutter
- work on a hobby (mine is crocheting)
- try a new hobby
Remember it doesn’t have to be a lot unless you want it to be. This is just a small list to get you started and also to get your creativity going. I know as I was writing these out I was coming up with more and more ideas on solo dates.
I know it’s cliche, but it’s so true. If it’s important to you, that’s all that matters. Make time for yourself. You are just as important as everyone and everything on your to do list. (this might become my new mantra/ affirmation.)
Let me know in the comments if you solo trip or solo date. Where are your favorite places?
